R.M. Carlson

lead in my belly
lead in my heart
I sit
in thoughts of you

realize
I’m afraid
of reaching out
to you

afraid your words
will bring shame
like a cloud
settling over me

did you cheer them on?
with their flags and guns?
did you laugh
at those forced to hide?

or did shame humble you
disgust you
bring you back to reality
by their sedition?

if I reach out
talk with you
what will you say?
who are you now?

I sit heavy
with foreboding
my dread skittering
like insects
in my belly

who are you?

With a B.S. in Communications, R.M. Carlson’s career over the years has covered marketing, public relations, and scientific and research journal management and publishing. As a child, she wrote and illustrated stories and has continued to write as a hobby ever since. Her focus shifted to poetry after taking a college poetry class. Her strong sense of social justice was established early in life by the ideals of her working-class parents, who actively engaged in politics, community, and more. She was raised in a church with progressive values that actively fought for social justice in and outside the local area. R.M. Carlson seeks ways she can make a difference, however small, in the world. Poetry has become her middle finger extended toward fascism.

This poem appeared in What We Hold On To: Poems of Coping, Connection, and Carrying On — Winter 2026, published by The Chaos Section Poetry Project. We’ll be featuring each poem from the collection individually in the weeks ahead. You can read the full collection or download a free PDF of the chapbook here.