Audrey Howitt

like now,
when toy soldiers cannot graze the sun
or crease skin,
I come home, to sand and mist,
to the way my eyes hold a horizon
knowing its impermanence against movement
its sturdiness
as planted feet hold the setting sun below water.

I want to know how we came to this,
though that won’t take the pain away
or cause the sun to find its niche again.
I only write one word at a time
weigh out meaning, each against that horizon
and against feet that feel sand,
know its shifts as I rock back and forth
trying to change my view.

Audrey Howitt lives and writes poetry in the San Francisco Bay Area. When not writing, she sings opera and teaches voice. She is also a licensed attorney and a licensed marriage and family therapist. Ms. Howitt has been published in Academy of the Heart and Mind, Washington Square Review, Panoply, Hecate Magazine, Spillwords Press, Nymphs Poetry Journal, Muddy River Poetry Review, The Big Windows Review, The White Cresset Arts Journal, Total Eclipse Poetry and Prose, Chiaroscuro—Darkness and Light, dVerse Poets Anthology, With Painted Words, Algebra of Owls, and Lost Towers Publications.

This poem appeared in What We Hold On To: Poems of Coping, Connection, and Carrying On — Winter 2026, published by The Chaos Section Poetry Project. We’ll be featuring each poem from the collection individually in the weeks ahead. You can read the full collection or download a free PDF of the chapbook here.